Marriage is a divine covenant designed by God for a purpose far greater than physical intimacy. It is vital for believers to understand this truth and not reduce their spouse or the sacred union of marriage to mere sexual gratification. The Bible sets the foundation for marriage as a relationship built on love, companionship, mutual respect, and the pursuit of God’s purpose together.
1. Your Spouse is Not a Sex Toy
In a world where pleasure is often idolised, it can be easy to adopt a distorted view of marriage. However, the Bible teaches that marriage is a covenant of love and honour, not merely a licence for sexual satisfaction. Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) reminds us:
“Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
A spouse is a co-labourer in fulfilling God’s purpose, not a tool for self-centred pleasure. Using your spouse purely for sexual gratification, without regard for their emotional, spiritual, and personal well-being, dishonours the sanctity of the marriage covenant.
2. Avoid Marrying Just to Fulfil Sexual Fantasies
The desire for sexual intimacy is a natural part of human relationships, but when it becomes the sole or primary reason for pursuing marriage, the foundation is faulty. Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:25-27). It is a call to serve, honour, and build one another spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
Seeking marriage to satisfy lustful desires often leads to disappointment and sin. Proverbs 19:2 (NIV) says:
“Desire without knowledge is not good—how much more will hasty feet miss the way!”
Marriage must be approached with a heart surrendered to God’s design, not driven by unchecked desires.
3. Do Not Compare Your Spouse to Past Experiences
Comparing your spouse to past sexual experiences defiles the marriage bed. It introduces emotional and spiritual pollution, diminishing trust and intimacy. The Bible calls believers to keep the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4).
When you compare, you dishonour the exclusivity and purity that God intended for the marital relationship. This is why sexual purity before marriage is so crucial—God’s plan is for a husband and wife to experience intimacy free from the shadows of past sins or experiences.
4. Understand God’s Purpose for Marriage
Marriage is not just for companionship or sexual fulfilment—it is a sacred institution with divine purposes, including:
• Reflecting Christ’s Relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:31-32)
• Raising Godly Offspring (Malachi 2:15)
• Mutual Help and Support (Genesis 2:18)
• Spiritual Growth and Accountability (Proverbs 27:17)
You will give an account before God one day on how you handled the purpose of marriage. Did you reflect His glory? Did you love selflessly? Did you fulfil His divine purpose together?
5. Communicate, Pray, and Seek Godly Counsel About Sexual Struggles
Sexual dissatisfaction or challenges should never be a reason to foul the atmosphere of your marriage with bitterness, resentment, or neglect. God desires wholeness and healing in every part of the marital relationship, including physical intimacy.
Rather than withdrawing emotionally, speak honestly with your spouse. Pray together and seek godly counsel from trusted Christian mentors or pastors. The Bible encourages seeking wisdom:
“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22 NIV)
Avoid sharing marital issues with just anyone; seek those grounded in God’s Word who will point you back to Christ’s design for marriage.
6. Marriage is Honourable – Sexual Sin Defiles
Marriage, when honoured as God designed, brings joy, peace, and fulfilment. However, sexual relationships outside of marriage bring pain, spiritual harm, and open the door to the enemy. The Bible is clear that sexual immorality is detestable to God:
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV)
Sin always provides the devil with an entry point to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). By keeping the marriage bed pure, you safeguard your relationship from unnecessary spiritual attacks and emotional pain.
Conclusion: Uphold the Honour of Marriage
Marriage is a gift from God, meant to be enjoyed in purity, honour, and purpose. It is not just about physical satisfaction but about reflecting God’s covenantal love. By honouring God’s principles for marriage, you build a foundation that glorifies Him and brings true fulfilment to both spouses.
Commit to upholding the sanctity of your marriage, communicating openly, praying together, and resisting the lies the world promotes about relationships. Remember, your marriage is a reflection of Christ’s love—walk in that truth daily.
The Message Bearer, Cornelius Bella
corneliusbella 
Nice post 🌅🌅
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