Social media has given everyone a platform, but having a platform does not automatically make someone a trustworthy teacher.
One of the things Christians must learn to discern is the difference between someone sharing an experience and someone possessing wisdom that can safely guide other people.
A person may have genuinely experienced marriage, business, parenting, ministry, leadership, friendship, or finances. But if virtually everything they know about that subject has been experienced from the negative side, we should be careful about accepting their conclusions as the whole truth.
Their pain may be real.
Their disappointment may be genuine.
Their story may deserve to be heard.
But experience alone does not necessarily produce wisdom.
Sometimes experience produces wisdom. Sometimes it produces wounds, bitterness, fear, suspicion, or conclusions formed while a person is still trying to understand what happened.
That is why Scripture says:
Proverbs 18:17 (KJV)
“He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.”
There is often another side.
Your Experience Is Not Always the Standard
Someone whose marriage failed may have valuable lessons about marriage. Someone whose business collapsed may have important lessons about entrepreneurship. A parent who made serious mistakes raising a child may have something significant to teach younger parents.
There is nothing shameful about having got something wrong.
Failure can become a classroom.
The problem comes when a person begins teaching as though the only side they experienced is the complete reality of the subject.
If every marriage discussion becomes, “Men cannot be trusted,” or “Women are impossible to please,” we are no longer simply hearing experience; we may be hearing unresolved pain presented as universal truth.
If someone failed in business and now teaches that everybody who succeeds financially must be dishonest, their failure may have distorted their interpretation of success.
If someone’s relationship with their children became difficult and they conclude that biblical discipline, parental authority, or family structure simply does not work, their personal outcome should not automatically become everybody else’s doctrine.
The Bible gives us a higher standard:
Proverbs 14:12 (KJV)
“There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”
Our experiences must eventually be brought under the authority of truth, not truth brought under the authority of our experiences.
Tell Us What You Got Wrong — But Also Tell Us What You Learned
There is tremendous value in hearing someone say:
“I made this mistake.”
“I ignored these warning signs.”
“I handled this badly.”
“I should have sought counsel earlier.”
“My attitude contributed to the problem.”
“This is what I would do differently today.”
That kind of vulnerability can save somebody else years of unnecessary pain.
But there is an even greater blessing when the person can also say:
“This is what I changed.”
“This is what I am doing differently now.”
“These are the biblical principles I began applying.”
“This is what has started producing better results.”
“This is something you can learn from and responsibly reproduce.”
That is much more powerful than merely describing everything that went wrong.
A testimony should not only tell us where you fell. Mature wisdom should increasingly be able to show us how you learned to walk differently.
There Is a Difference Between a Warning and a Pattern
We need warnings.
Scripture itself records failures.
David’s failures are recorded. Peter’s failures are recorded. Samson’s failures are recorded. Abraham’s mistakes are recorded.
God did not remove human failure from the Bible.
But notice something important: Scripture does not present their failures as models to imitate.
Their failures become warnings, while obedience, repentance, faith and transformation become the lessons.
Paul writes:
1 Corinthians 10:11 (KJV)
“Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.”
There are therefore at least two different things we can learn from people:
What not to do, and what actually works.
Both have value, but they are not the same.
Someone can be exceptionally qualified to warn you about a ditch because they fell into it.
But before allowing them to teach you the entire road, you should also ask whether they have learned how to travel that road successfully.
Do Not Build Your Marriage From Someone Else’s Divorce
This is especially important with relationships.
There is an enormous amount of marriage advice online coming from people whose principal experience of marriage is disappointment, betrayal, conflict, separation or divorce.
Again, their experiences should not be mocked or dismissed.
There may be profound lessons in their stories.
But a Christian who desires to build a healthy marriage should also intentionally learn from people who have built healthy marriages.
If you want longevity, study longevity.
If you want reconciliation, learn from people who understand reconciliation.
If you want godly parenting, listen to parents who are not merely discussing theories but have demonstrated healthy principles over time.
If you want to build a sustainable business, learn from people who understand not only how businesses fail but also how businesses are responsibly built, managed and sustained.
Scripture says:
Proverbs 13:20 (KJV)
“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”
Be careful who becomes your teacher.
Pain Can Speak Very Convincingly
One reason this requires discernment is that wounded people can sometimes speak with enormous conviction.
They have lived through something.
They felt it.
They cried through it.
They suffered consequences.
So when they speak, their words carry emotional weight.
But emotional intensity is not the same thing as biblical accuracy.
A person can be completely sincere and still be sincerely wrong in the conclusion they drew from their experience.
That is why Christians must develop the habit demonstrated in Acts:
Acts 17:11 (KJV)
“These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.”
Listen.
Consider.
Have compassion.
But search the Scriptures.
Do not allow someone’s trauma to rewrite God’s truth for you.
The Best Teachers Are Usually Still Learning
One of the healthiest things you can hear from someone teaching from experience is humility.
“Here is what I did wrong.”
“Here is what I misunderstood.”
“Here is what God corrected in me.”
“Here is what I have learned.”
“Here is what I am practising now.”
“Here is what is producing better fruit.”
That is very different from someone spending years building an identity around everything another person did to them.
Christian maturity eventually asks:
What did God teach me?
Where did I need correction?
What wisdom did I gain?
How am I different now?
What fruit is my present understanding producing?
Jesus gave us a simple principle:
Matthew 7:20 (KJV)
“Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”
Before you imitate someone’s philosophy, examine its fruit.
Your Failure Can Become Someone Else’s Wisdom
Perhaps you are the person who got something wrong.
Your marriage did not work.
Your first business failed.
You mishandled money.
You made mistakes raising your children.
You trusted the wrong people.
You ignored godly counsel.
That does not mean your story has no value.
It may become extremely valuable.
But don’t stop at telling people what happened to you.
Go further.
Ask God:
“What was I supposed to learn?”
“What would wisdom have done differently?”
“What biblical principles did I violate or neglect?”
“What have I changed?”
“What am I now doing that produces better fruit?”
Then your scars can become signposts without becoming your identity.
You can say:
“I went down that road. Here is where I went wrong. Here is what God taught me. Here is the better path I am now walking.”
That is powerful.
That is responsible.
That can genuinely help another person.
Do Not Just Give People Your Pain — Give Them Wisdom
The world does not need more people simply broadcasting their wounds.
We need people who have allowed God to turn experience into wisdom.
Tell us about the mistake.
Tell us about the warning signs.
Tell us about the consequences.
But if possible, also tell us about the correction.
Tell us what repentance looked like.
Tell us what changed.
Tell us what now works.
Tell us what biblical principle you discovered.
Tell us what another person can safely emulate.
Because ultimately, the Christian goal is not merely to become an expert at explaining what went wrong.
It is to grow in wisdom until our lives increasingly demonstrate what is right.
James 3:13 (KJV)
“Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.”
Your experience can give you a story.
But wisdom gives that story something useful to teach.
So listen to people’s experiences, but exercise discernment before turning their conclusions into your convictions.
Learn from failures — including your own.
But also find people whose lives demonstrate the fruit you desire.
And when you speak about the areas where you once got it wrong, don’t only tell people where you fell.
Show them what you have learned, what you corrected, what is now working, and the path that others can safely follow.
That is when experience becomes wisdom.
And that is when your story becomes a blessing.
The Message Bearer, Cornelius Bella
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