Love Must Be Proven by Labour
Introduction: Love as a Claim vs Love as a Calling
Many men say, “I love my wife,” the same way they say, “I love my job.”
Yet Scripture teaches a sobering truth:
Love is not validated by confession alone; it is authenticated by consistent action.
Just as employment is proven by showing up, working, and producing value, marital love is proven by sacrifice, responsibility, presence, and service.
In the Kingdom of God, love without labour is a contradiction.
1. Biblical Love Is a Verb, Not a Sentiment
Word Study: Love (Agapē)
According to Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words, agapē is:
“A deliberate affection involving choice, commitment, and self-giving action, not emotion alone.”
📖 1 John 3:18 (NKJV)
“My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.”
Biblical love is not merely spoken—it is demonstrated.
Love works Love serves Love endures inconvenience Love pays a cost
If love does not move your hands, schedule, wallet, priorities, and energy, it has not yet matured.
2. “I Love My Wife” Without Responsibility Is Empty Language
Headship Is a Workload, Not a Title
📖 Ephesians 5:25 (AMP)
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
The comparison to Christ removes all shallow definitions of love.
Christ’s love involved:
– Provision
– Protection
– Sacrifice
– Responsibility
– Commitment unto death
📚 Strong’s Concordance (G25 – agapaō) defines love as:
“To welcome, to cherish, to prize above all other things.”
A man who says “I love my wife” but:
Avoids responsibility
Neglects spiritual leadership
Withholds emotional presence
Refuses financial diligence
…is speaking a love he is not working.
3. Love That Does Not Build Is Not Biblical Love
📖 Proverbs 24:3–4 (NKJV)
“Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”
Love is not passive. Love builds.
– It builds security
– It builds peace
– It builds vision
– It builds growth
📖 1 Corinthians 8:1 (NKJV)
“Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies.”
📚 Easton’s Bible Dictionary defines love as:
“The affection which prompts self-denial for the good of another.”
If your presence does not add, strengthen, or protect, love has become theoretical.
4. Loving a Wife Is a Daily Ministry, Not a One-Time Statement
📖 Colossians 3:19 (NLT)
“Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.”
This command implies:
– Emotional intelligence
– Gentleness
– Consistency Self-control
Love must show up on ordinary days, not only special occasions.
📖 Luke 16:10 (NKJV)
“He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much.”
A man proves love:
– In communication
– In patience
– In fidelity
– In prayer
– In presence
5. The Job Analogy: Love Is Verified by Output
You can say “I love my job” all you want—but:
If you don’t show up, you’re dismissed If you don’t perform, you’re replaced If you don’t grow, you stagnate
📖 James 2:17 (KJV)
“Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.”
The same principle applies to marriage:
Love that does not work is love that will not last.
Practical Applications
For Husbands
Examine your actions, not your intentions Lead spiritually—do not outsource prayer Invest emotionally, not only financially Be present, not merely available
📖 1 Peter 3:7 (AMP)
“Live together in an understanding way… showing honor to the woman.”
For Wives
Expect love that is demonstrated, not merely declared Encourage growth, not excuses Pray for your husband’s maturity, not just affection
For Singles
Do not marry words—marry patterns Observe consistency, responsibility, and service Love readiness matters more than love language
📖 Matthew 7:20 (NKJV)
“Therefore by their fruits you will know them.”
Conclusion:
Love Is Proven on the Ground
Biblical love is visible, costly, and productive.
Saying “I love my wife” is the entry point, not the evidence.
Love that is not worked will eventually be questioned.
Love that is worked will speak for itself.
📖 John 14:15 (NKJV)
“If you love Me, keep My commandments.”
In God’s Kingdom, love always leaves footprints.
The Message Bearer (SmilingPreacher), Cornelius Bella
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