In our journey through life, friends play an indispensable role. They are our companions in joy, our support in sorrow, and our guides in times of confusion. However, there is a kind of friend who can be more detrimental than a declared enemy: the neutral friend. Allow me to share a story about a young woman named Sarah and her friend Nana, which illustrates this profound truth.
Sarah was a devout Christian, passionate about her faith and dedicated to living a life that honoured God. She often shared her dreams and struggles with Nana, her childhood friend. They had grown up together, shared countless memories, and supported each other through thick and thin. Nana, however, was always neutral, never taking a firm stand on anything, especially matters of faith.
One day, Sarah faced a significant challenge at work. Her boss pressured her to compromise her integrity by altering some financial reports. Troubled, she sought advice from Nana.
“Nana, I don’t know what to do,” Sarah confided. “If I refuse, I might lose my job, but if I agree, I’ll be going against my principles and my faith.”
Nana, in her typical manner, shrugged and said, “You have to do what’s best for you, Sarah. It’s not my place to say what’s right or wrong.”
Sarah left the conversation more confused and unsettled than before. Her friend’s neutrality felt like abandonment in her moment of need. She turned to her Bible for guidance and found solace in the words of Revelation 3:16: “So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”
These words struck Sarah deeply. She realized that Nana’s neutrality was not just unhelpful; it was harmful. She needed friends who would stand with her in truth and righteousness, not those who remained indifferent.
In the days that followed, Sarah made the difficult decision to stand by her principles and refused to alter the reports. She lost her job but found peace in her soul, knowing she had honoured God. Meanwhile, she began to reevaluate her friendship with Nana.
One Sunday, after a particularly moving sermon on Proverbs 27:17—”As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”—Sarah understood that true friends sharpen and challenge each other in their faith and values. She realized that while she still loved Nana, she needed to surround herself with friends who would encourage her to grow in her faith and stand firm in her convictions.
Sarah prayed for Nana, hoping she would one day understand the importance of taking a stand. But she also sought out new friendships within her church community. She found allies who supported her, prayed with her, and offered godly counsel. These new friends were not neutral; they were passionately committed to following Christ and helping each other do the same.
Over time, Sarah’s life became a testament to the truth of Proverbs 18:24: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Sarah learned that a friend who is neutral in times of moral crisis can be more damaging than an outright enemy. Enemies declare their opposition, allowing us to defend ourselves. Neutral friends, however, offer no support, leaving us vulnerable and alone.
This story of Sarah and Nana serves as a reminder for all of us. In our walk with Christ, we must seek out and cherish friends who will encourage us, stand by us, and help us grow in our faith. Neutral friends may seem harmless, but in reality, they can be our greatest hindrance. Let us strive to be friends who inspire and strengthen each other, as iron sharpens iron, fulfilling the commandment to love one another earnestly from a pure heart (1 Peter 1:22).
In the end, there truly is no worse enemy than a neutral friend. Choose your friends wisely and be the kind of friend who stands firm in faith and love, guiding others towards the light of Christ.
What is Neutrality?
Neutrality, in the context of this story, is the state of being disengaged or non-committal in situations where moral or ethical decisions are required. It involves taking no clear stance or position, especially in matters that demand support, guidance, or an active response. In the friendship between Sarah and Nana, neutrality manifests as a lack of involvement and support, leaving Sarah to face her dilemmas without the moral backing she needs.
To further define neutrality, let’s break down its key aspects as illustrated in the story:
1. Indifference to Right and Wrong:
• When Sarah sought advice from Nana regarding her moral dilemma at work, Nana’s response was, “You have to do what’s best for you, Sarah. It’s not my place to say what’s right or wrong.” This highlights the essence of neutrality as a refusal to engage in distinguishing right from wrong, thereby failing to provide the moral support Sarah needed.
2. Lack of Support:
• Neutrality in friendship means failing to offer support or guidance when it is most needed. Nana’s neutral stance left Sarah feeling abandoned and alone in her struggle, illustrating how neutrality can be more harmful than outright opposition.
3. Absence of Encouragement:
• Friends who are neutral do not encourage growth or positive action. Nana’s neutrality prevented her from encouraging Sarah to stand by her principles, which is a crucial role that friends should play in each other’s lives.
4. Moral Ambiguity:
• Neutrality involves maintaining a position of ambiguity, avoiding taking sides or making judgments. This ambiguity can lead to confusion and a lack of direction, as seen when Sarah left her conversation with Nana feeling more unsettled than before.
5. Contrast with Biblical Principles:
• The Bible condemns lukewarm behaviour (Revelation 3:16) and emphasizes the importance of steadfastness and support in relationships (Proverbs 27:17). Neutrality, therefore, is the opposite of the committed, supportive relationships advocated by Scripture.
In summary, neutrality, as defined through the story of Sarah and Nana, is a passive and disengaged approach in situations requiring moral clarity and support. It is characterized by indifference, lack of support, absence of encouragement, and moral ambiguity. Such neutrality can be detrimental, leaving individuals without the guidance and encouragement they need to navigate their moral and ethical challenges.
The Message Bearer, Cornelius Bella
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