Someone posted on one of the social media platforms saying that: “A woman that is not willing to meet her husband’s sexual needs is exposing him to the arms of a promiscuous woman”.
But wait a minute: in this day and age, an exposure of a man (married and unmarried) to a promiscuous woman happens everyday; it does not only start after a wife refuses her husband sex.
Unbalanced preaching is dangerous. We should never do any preaching that justifies sin. The Scriptures will never give any husband premise to justify sinning against his God and his body because his wife would not gratify his sexual desires.
“The body is for the Lord; and the Lord for the body”.
What usually happens to a mere and undisciplined man after constant refusal of sex by his wife is that he starts looking to respond to promiscuity and at that point according to the Bible he has already committed adultery.
Matthew 5:28 KJV
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Now who would be judged, the man or is wife? Who has committed adultery?
Proverbs 6:32-33 KJV
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
If the fear of God is real in a husband’s heart, he should go to God, as also the wife must, and ask for wisdom and help; God always makes a way even when we think there is no way out and can make difficult things easy. But for a husband or his wife to go into sin because of the need for sexual gratification shows how base his or her Christianity is.
It was laid in my spirit sometime ago to read “1 Corinthians 7:5” again when it happened that I desired my wife on an occasion that she was not in the mood for sex (it had been a tedious week):
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 AMPC
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights (goodwill, kindness, and what is due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body, but the husband [has his rights]; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body, but the wife [has her rights]. Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire. [Exod. 19:15.]
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 AMPC
The key message for me was “sexual restraint” so I prayed and recieved the grace for more sexual restraint and God answered my prayer.
In a Christian marriage there should not be issues of the wife being unwilling or refusing to give her husband sex and vis visa without any reason. Scripturally, it is expected that sex in marriage should be had willingly, with yieldedness and with mutual agreement and if sex is not to be had for a period in time, it should also be with mutual understanding. And in the time of abstinence from each other, both should focus on spiritual growth and devotion. There is a cautionary note, that you do not let your giving time to spiritual growth and devotion be an excuse for lengthy lack of sexual intimacy, the reason being that either one of you may be lacking in sexual discipline or restraint, may be too spiritually impoverished and or because the man or his wife has an untamed sexual hunger (God promised to supply all we need and not all we want).
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 KJV
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
It is the lack of restraint that opens up a husband to a promiscuous (strange) woman, it is not because his wife refused him sex. God will not justify a husband’s attraction to, nor relationship with a promiscuous woman because he was not getting enough sex from his wife. Neither would God justify a wife’s response to a promiscuous man because her husband is not doing enough to satisfy her sexually.
Proverbs 5:3-6 KJV
For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.
“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed”. (Genesis 2:25 KJV)
I am Divinely permitted to love and enjoy having sex with my wife. But nothing can justify me sinning against her (my own body) and God by sleeping with a promiscuous woman because she is not always in the mood for sex. Husband be patient to find out why she is not in the mood there could be several reasons one major one being that she does get tired and after a day of myriad physical and spiritual activities, it is kindness to let her rest and regain strength.
Husbands have the obligation of loving and caring for their wives the same way they love and care for their own bodies, for to love your wife is to love your own self. No one abuses his own body, but pampers it—serving and satisfying its needs. That’s exactly what Christ does for his church!
Ephesians 5:28-29 TPT
Proverbs 6:32-33 KJV
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
I know how righteous and God pleasing it is that it is my wife alone that I go to to get sex and I would rather that I have no desire at all for sex than to burn for a promiscuous woman; desiring that she gives me only what my wife can give me.
Hebrews 13:4 KJV
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Sex is a gift from God to the married. It is to remain within the righteous confines of the marriage. Your spouse is to be your perfect fit in life and destiny. And the truth is that there is more to marriage than sex. However, I would encourage you to do this and God will grant you help and wisdom: do well to improve on your communication with one another (husband and wife). “Better communication leads to better understanding”. Better understanding leads to better marital relationship and the desired improvement of your sexual relationship with one another.
As I bring this message to a close, I ask that you please ponder on this scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:9-13 KJV “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body”.
Glory be to God!
The Message Bearer
Cornelius Bella
corneliusbella 
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