How a marriage is structured or operated I think depends on what basis, motives, value systems and majorly the foundation that the marriage is built on. As a believer of Christ Jesus and a joyously married man, I live by the Word of God and my steps are ordered by His Word and my value system is built on the same.
So, when a man who claim to be a believer of Christ comes on the social media and is trying to defend having a private life that he does not think his wife should know about I was moved to respond:
Then the Man said, This [Creation] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. [Matt. 19:5; I Cor. 6:16; Eph. 5:31-33.] And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.
Genesis 2:23-25 AMPC
Marriage was Divinely instituted under the pronouncement in Genesis 2:23-25 AMPC and it clearly gave no room for privacy nor secrecy: two becoming one, leaving to Cleave, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh is all about oneness, intimacy and openness. A man and his wife have become one and the same before God, perfectly fitted together, bonded… thus it would mean that a husband is bordering on the side of serious mental health disorder for him to seek to hide anything of himself from himself (his wife).
Whenever a “christian” husband takes a peculiar unscriptural stance against his wife, I am always curious to find out:
1. If the man is a proper Christian or not,
2. Does he truly fear God and so has absolute reverence for His Words?
3. Is he matured or immature (in wisdom and understanding),
4. Is he secured in himself or plagued with insecurities?
5. Is he happy in his marriage or just enduring?
6. Does he truly love his wife or sharing space with her?
For any husband to insist on owning his privacy in marriage, I am almost sure that there has to be a problem with the foundation of that man as a single and the foundation of the marriage.
In Christian marriage, there are times that one or the other is called to spend time with God, that is to pray and fast and biblically it ought to be with agreement. At anytime both husband and wife should know what the other is doing per time.
1 Corinthians 7:5-7 King James Version (KJV)
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
I personally find it a more peaceful living with all laid bare before my wife and vis a vis. We have that agreement.
One final point to note; anything married couples hide in privacy from one another under the all seeing eyes of God, the devil will make public to everyone outside that marriage one day. Which is more shameful; that your wife knew about it or the whole world? I will let you decide.
The Message Bearer
Cornelius Bella
corneliusbella 