Main Texts: Genesis 1, 2 and 3
Dear man of valour, are you intending to get married or are you already married? Let’s reason together:
In marriage you cannot keep the weaknesses in your leadership ability hidden away, rather marriage would expose it and force you to confront those weaknesses. If you do not confront your leadership weaknesses in marriage, it would pull you under and your wife would naturally activate the innate potential for leadership, which is meant for your children, and rule over you…but this is not God’s perfect will, but a permissive will. Where husbands have failed, it is not strange to see the wives doing a better job.
The Bible classifies such husbands as “worse than an infidel”.
1 Timothy 5:8 BRG
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God”. (1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV)
The weakness of leadership in a husband exposes his wife to the onslaught of the devil and if the wife is with children they could also be marked by the failure of her husband, except she holds on to God and allows God use her to lessen the impact. God has a way of linking such children to an anointed spiritual father, who helps align them with their divine destiny in God.
Where the wife has no union with God such children are subjected to alternative destinies, self-crafted or demonically engineered. But God is merciful.
A classical example of weakness in a husband’s leadership was what happened between Adam and Eve in the Bible ( read Genesis chapter 3)
The serpent/Satan was aware of the innate ability in the woman/wife to lead and he had been meeting with the woman, exposing to her the weakness of leadership in her husband. Satan knew that if he pushed enough he could trigger the innate leadership ability in the woman successfully, and the man/husband would easily come under.
The woman no longer saw the man as a leader. Think about it. If Eve/the woman had any respect for Adam’s/the man’s leadership (Read Genesis 3)…
1. She would not have been so secure in a discussion of matters of life and death.
2. She would have involved her husband in the discussion.
3. She would have said that God told my husband that…the man was the first to be told about the tree and he must have passed the information to Eve. The truth of this can be seen (Genesis 3:3) when Eve was saying to the serpent what God said and added to it (Chinese whispers syndrome).
4. She would have exposed Satan’s/the serpent’s ploy.
These demonstrates how badly the leadership role between the man and his wife had been reversed. “The woman ate the fruit and gave it to the man and he ate it also”. The man did not make the slightest objection to eating the forbidden fruit…because he had lost the strength of leadership.
The true strength of leadership of a Christian husband flows from God, but he has a responsibility for the correct application of this divine leadership prowess. He must train and discipline himself to remain vitally connected to God or he will not do well in the leadership of his wife and home.
Husbands must study to know the divine specifications written in God’s Word to effectively husband their wives and father their children.
1. Do you know what it means to love your wife (Ephesians 5:25)?
2. How could you avoid provoking your children (Ephesians 6:4)?
3. What does it mean to provide for your home (1 Timothy 5:8) ?
The manipulation of Satan, the weakness of leadership of Adam and the gullibility of the woman led to a major disobedience and invited the curse.
But Glory be to God! Wherever in the Bible that God has had to curse (Chastise) those whom He has a deep love relationship with because of their disobedience, it is almost always a corrective measure and not a damnation.
The sin of disobedience to commands was instigated by the same idea that Lucifer (Satan) had before rebelling against God. Satan’s plan was for man to be damned like he was.
Genesis 3:5 NIV
5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
What satan never factored in was that man was made in the image of God, with the intention that they will be like God although not the Almighty God. (Read Genesis 1, Psalms 82 and John 10)
– The curse of the serpent (Genesis 3: 14-15), ensured that it would never have that ease to creating a bond with the woman nor her children.
– The curse of the woman (Genesis 3: 16) made it such that except her husband absolutely fails as a husband or a father would she again assume leadership over her man.
– The curse of the man (Genesis 3: 17-19), joined him to a training programme of leadership responsibility.
Husbands love and appreciate your wives. They were created and given to us to bless us.
Let me share with you a revelation I recieved about the woman as a wife:
Wives submitting to their own husband (Ephesians 5:22-24) or husbands treating their wives as a weaker vessel. (1 Peter 3:7) does not imply that the woman was created inferior, have you at anytime thought about it, that for the woman to have met up to standard required to cancel out what was not good for the man, she must have had to have high potentials and of superior quality.
Nothing else was found to be suitable for the man until the woman came on the scene.
Genesis 2:18-24
18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet for him.”
19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them; and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a helper meet for him.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof.
22 And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.
The woman was made not from base soil like the man, but from advanced materials.
When man was formed from soil (Genesis 2) The breathe of God gave life to the soil man was made from…flesh, bones (including the ribs of man), sinews, organs, all were formed at that moment.
The woman was made from the rib of man. The rib that already had the breathe of God. The rib which was much more advanced in quality than the soil (think on that).
Why did the man have to be put to sleep whilst the woman/his wife was being created?
Well one could argue that possibly because it would have been a very painful operation, cutting into the flesh and then breaking off the rib. Ouch! But don’t we think God is much more wiser and way more powerful than that? Would it be impossible for Him to reach into man and easily separated the rib he needed without a single hurt to the man?
This is the understanding supplied to me about why man had to be put to sleep:
1. So that he does not interrupt the divine process due to curiosity or impatience.
2. He does not really know the specifications that would suit him with regards to a wife. God does.
3. There are things in a woman that are to remain mysterious and for her husband to find out what they are, he has got to involve God.
4. God wants to maintain to the man that the only contribution to the creation of the woman is just the rib, everything else was from God. No husband owns his wife fully, God has the major share.
Any husband, Christian or otherwise, that would reap the full benefit of marriage must be subject to God in all things. Lead his wife and home according to the dictates of God’s Word and the Holy Spirit.
Any husband, Christian or otherwise, that thinks he fully owns his wife and does away with the truth that God will always have the major share and would not allow his wife to serve God of our Lord Jesus Christ…will live a life of regret and die unfulfilled.
There is a video clip that a friend shared with me. The video was about a man that was losing interest in his wife because he felt some other women were more beautiful. He made the statement that his wife was not a goddess. And his friend advised him to buy clothes for her and to take her out for a meal. Apparently that was enough to transform her into a goddess.
I thought it was an interesting video. But also observed that the husband missed it on all levels…beauty or being a goddess is not in the outwards appearance alone, of make up, or dressing when it comes to one’s wife. Your wife is more than that: she is the essence of love, commitment, memories, time, and destiny. She like no other woman is cleaved so closely to you that the Word of God says “two have become one”.
If a husband looks unfavourable upon his wife desiring other women, he is looking unfavourably upon himself and he loses the favour of God.
Any unbliblical portrayal of marriage do very little justice to explain the profoundness of the Wisdom of God on the topic. The truth is that when a husband understands how preciously God has positioned his wife for his good he will treat her like the jewel she is.
If a man finds a wife he has found a good thing that attracts divine favour as long as he sees her as a gift and treasures and loves her as nearly as much as God does.
Finally, I would like you to know this about every institution established by God. They are for our training, growth and development. The Christian Marriage was instituted by God. You can prepare very well for it, but you don’t get into marriage already qualified. God helping you: you continue to study and you keep practising what you’ve learned. As you diligently subject all things to the Word of God and the Holy Spirit…you”ll soon observe that you are getting it right and you do not stop getting better. Now and then do a thorough self evaluation, also get your wife to give you her unbiased evaluation: it will make you better, that is if you really desire to be the best husband to your wife and the greatest father to your children. And you want to please God.
I hope you have been blessed by this message and my prayer is that you enjoy all the blessings that God has put in marriage to the fullest in Jesus Name.
The Message Bearer
Cornelius Bella
corneliusbella 